Children who truly believe that they can do anything they set their minds to are the children who grow up to succeed at all levels of life. It’s that belief in one’s self that lets them take appropriate risks, deal with challenges and learn to navigate the ins and outs of life. And there is no person in the world who can build that self confidence (or destroy it) like you can. If you want to have a child who does well in life (and what parent doesn’t right?), then you need to watch your own behavior and interaction with your child, making sure to maximize his or her self-confidence in every way that you can.
Here are some things that you should think about regarding self confidence and your kids:
- Don’t do things for your child that he or she can do alone. Children need to learn to take care of themselves and they learn this through hands-on experience. By knowing appropriate developmental stages as well as where your child is at, you can identify which tasks he or she can safely do without your help. Your preschooler may not like picking up after himself, but if he can do it, he should. In the end, this will help build self-confidence.
- Give your child choices. Being able to make decisions is something that your child will have to do all throughout life. Starting young with learning decision making skills will give your child confidence in her ability to make her own choices as she gets older. When peer pressure starts coming into the picture, you’ll be glad that you worked on this part.
- Be proud of your kids and show that pride. Sometimes it’s easy to compare your children to others, to yourself or even to some ideal child that you have in mind. Don’t. Be proud of who your child is and where he is at developmentally and express that pride. Knowing that you’re proud will be the springboard that lets your child dive into deeper waters over time.
- Be quick with praise, slow with criticism. Your child needs to know when he’s done a good job at something. Don’t ever take anything for granted in terms of noticing your child’s skills and positive behaviors. On the other hand, be slow to criticize. While constructive criticism is good, constant criticism is not. Only criticize your child about things which are truly important and do so in a way that corrects the act without attacking your child.
- Apologize when you are wrong. Learning that it’s okay to be wrong and seeing that it’s okay to apologize for bad behavior are important steps towards developing self confidence. Your child learns that she doesn’t have to be ashamed of making mistakes and that she can own up to them and move on, hallmarks of a successful human being.
Self confidence is something that we all need and sometimes which most of us struggle with at times. It’s hard to know that you’re right, to be secure in all of your choices, to feel that you are capable of taking risks and making them work out in your favor. But the people who are able to overcome their insecurities and to use their inner self confidence to get to where they want to be in life are the people who are both happy and successful. That is surely the life that you want for your child, so praise her and be proud of her and help her to develop that inner voice that tells her that she is worth something in this world.
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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Instinctively all the parents know that our appreciation boosts their confidence but we tend to forgets at times. Thanks for reminding.
I like your post very much especially on giving your child choices. Sometimes I’m guilty of not letting my child do what he wants. Thanks for reminding me through your post to give him a freedom of choice.
- Joy