Two of the multiple intelligences of Dr. Howard Gardner are Inter and Intra personal intelligence. Inter-personal Intelligence is the ability to relate to and understand others. Intra personal Intelligence is the ability to self reflect and understand inner emotions and identify strengths and weaknesses. Emotional intelligence combines the two intelligences and helps a child to manage their feelings and emotions as well as empathize with the feelings and emotions of others.
Should we be concerned about the emotional intelligence of our children? Yes, because part of growing up to be responsible, healthy and happy individuals is the ability to show respect, cooperate and have empathy. We live in a society that inundates us with so much technology that we sometimes forget the importance of human contact and relationships. Children need to be able to understand their feelings. We place so much emphasis on behavior, that we neglect the underlying feelings that create these behaviors. Misbehavior is sometimes caused by an unmet need. According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, "people are motivated by their unsatisfied needs". Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs illustrates the five basic human needs: 1. Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, etc. 2. Safety needs - protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, etc. 3. Belongingness and Love needs - work group, family, affection, relationships, etc. 4. Esteem needs - self-esteem, achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, managerial responsibility, etc. 5. Self-Actualization needs - realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences. Only when the lowest of the needs (#1) is met, can a person start to move up toward fulfilling the other needs. For example, if your child does not feel safe at home, your child can not be expected to perform well in school (#3-Belongingness).
We also are not aware how our moods affect our children's moods. If a parent is stressed and constantly annoyed, the child picks up on that mood and starts to behave the same way. If we do not speak to our children about their feelings, acknowledge their feelings and validate their feelings, our children will not understand how to be responsible for their own feelings and emotions.
When children have their emotional needs met, they are able to make healthy decisions in life. Some of children's emotional needs are to feel loved, safe, understood, valued, trusted, listened to, worthy, appreciated, needed, important and motivated. To find out what your child's emotional needs, think about how do you want your child to feel and how you would like to create those feelings for your child.
So how can you raise your child's emotional intelligence?
For starters with young children, as parents we can demonstrate healthy ways of expressing our own emotions. Use the word "I" to own the feeling. Start with I feel upset when I am not heard. Give the feeling a label for your child: "It looks like you're sad because your friend could not come over and play." Validate your child's feelings. Listen, nod your head, use short comments to get them to continue talking. Do not criticize or yell or your child will shut down. Make eye contact and pay attention. As your child grows, help them to understand different emotions and why people react to certain circumstances. Help your child to identify the following: How am I feeling right now? Why am I feeling this way? How would I like to feel?
The more you help your child understand his/her emotions, the more your child will be able to control impulsive behavior and cooperate with others.
Resources
Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: http://honolulu.hawaii.edu/intranet/committees/FacDevCom/guidebk/teachtip/maslow.htm
Emotional Intelligence for children ages 2-4 http://www.operationhomefront.org/downloads/Emotional_intellegence_2-4.pdf
Emotional Intelligence for children ages 5-7 http://www.operationhomefront.org/downloads/Emotional_Intellegence_5-7.pdf
Article: How Important is Emotional Intelligence? http://www.parentssource.com/5.20.01.give.article.html
Cultivate Emotional Intelligence in Your Child http://www.vtaide.com/png/EQ.htm
Emotional Intelligence: What is it? Who has it? How to get it? http://www.imageryforkids.com/art_emotionalintelligence.asp
Marie Magdala Roker is an Academic and Personal Development Coach and Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructor who works with parents to help them unlock and nurture the personal and academic potential in their children and motivate their children to success.
Here you go….. here are some of my favorite Easter crafts and activities to do with my children for the Easter Holidays. Kids love the Holidays for many reasons. But, I like to remind my children that bottom line the Holidays are about "Family". So, remind your [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "20 Egg-sellent Easter Crafts & Activities for Kids", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2008/03/21/20-easter-crafts-and-activities-for-kids/" });
St. Patrick’s Day is on March 17th this year which is in another couple of days. In honor of the festivities I thought I would list a tons of super fun crafts to do with your kids to celebrate St. Patty’s Day. So, without further ado….. feast your eyes [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "St. Patrick’s Day Crafts for Kids", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2008/03/14/st-patricks-day-crafts-for-kids/" });
It is December 11th and it is the 8th and final day of Hanukkah 2007. Before Hanukkah was over I wanted to make sure to offer my viewers tons of links to Hanukkah / Chanukah Crafts and Activities to enjoy. Each link takes you to a site that will [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "14 Hanukkah Crafts and Activities to enjoy with your Preschooler", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/12/11/14-hanukkah-crafts-activities-for-preschoolers/" });
I came across this Website today that I just had to share with my Preschool Education Blog viewers. Tiny Prints is donating up to $50,000 this Holiday Season to Children’s Charities. And, they are asking the World Wide Web to help them decide which Children’s Charities a portion [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Tiny Prints - It’s Free. It’s Easy. It’s Charitable!!", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/11/14/tiny-prints-charity/" });
Fall may be a terrific time of year for fun crafts but you don’t want to be so focused on the fun that you forget about the great educational opportunities that the season presents. Sure, it’s great to carve pumpkins and make Thanksgiving turkeys out of construction paper during [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Educational Fall Activities", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/11/07/educational-fall-activities/" });
Do you use the terms “fall” and “autumn” interchangeably? If so, you are just like most other people in America who agree that the two words are meant to mean the same thing (the season that comes after summer and before winter). But there is another school [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "How to Explain to your Preschooler if it is Autumn or Fall", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/10/28/how-to-explain-to-preschooler-if-it-is-autumn-or-fall/" });
Fall is a terrific time to incorporate leaf crafts into kids’ daily activities. You can take kids outside to get some fresh air and physical activity while they collect the leaves. Then you can come indoors again and keep them busy with the crafts. Leaf crafts are [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Leaf Crafts for Kids", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/10/21/leaf-crafts-for-kids/" });
Your children are going to inherit the earth that we are living on today so you obviously want it to be as healthy as it can possibly be for them. Although it’s great that you’re doing your part to take care of the environment, it’s equally as [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Teaching your Child about the Environment - Blog Action Day 2007", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/10/15/teaching-your-child-about-the-environment/" });
October just might be the most fun month there is as far as fall preschool themes go. It’s early enough in the year that there are still plenty of outdoor activities that can be done with preschoolers. It’s also early enough in the year that you’re not [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Preschool October Themes - As Fall Continues", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/10/10/preschool-october-themes-as-fall-continues/" });
What better time to teach your child about fall than when we’re right about to enter the midst of it? Fall is a great teaching tool because it applies to so many different areas of life. Not only do kids learn about the seasons, but they also [...]SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "How to Teach your Child about Fall", url: "http://www.abchomepreschool.com/PreschoolEducationBlog/2007/10/04/how-to-teach-your-child-about-fall/" });