I recently heard the comment that the breakdown of the family structure is to blame for most of our societal ills. The statement lingered in the back of my mind like a bruise that doesn't fade easily. Suddenly I became more observant of parents interacting with their children. I began to take notice of how family members behave toward one another. True to their nature, those I encountered, including my own family members, lead my observations to the inevitable conclusion that the statement was indeed correct, at least to some extent. Lack of discipline, lack of respect and total disorganization are running rampant in many families. People are feeling the effects of stress and pressure both at home and in the workplace. Insufficient time for work duties, household chores and family time produce mixed results. Even if a person can manage all of these responsibilities, more than likely, private time is still lacking.
Regrettably, some become parents before they are ready to take on the responsibility of parenting. Unable to make the commitment, the family structure weakens. Often, a parent cannot deal with the demands of family and the only means of coping is escape. Then they begin to seek out babysitters, friends and family members to fill the parental role. In short, they begin to shirk their parenting duties at every opportunity and the list of opportunities is plentiful. They use such outlets to escape as: "I'm sick." "I need to clean my house." "I have to go to the grocery store." "I need a break." There are a multitude of others. I shake my head at such absurdities. Whatever happened to taking the children to the grocery store with you? The only break I ever had was when I fell asleep from exhaustion.
When parenthood occurs at a young age and the enormity of the commitment required is not realized, it is the children who ultimately suffer. With birth control methods at our disposal there is no valid reason why a child should be born to anyone who is not ready to be a parent. Planned parenthood is the best course of action. For those who have children and find themselves unable to cope with the demands of raising young children, they can and should seek help. Not everyone can afford the luxury of a live in nanny but there are alternatives. Parenting classes can be helpful and they are often offered at local hospitals for free. Healthcare agencies such as clinics and hospitals usually have a social services department which can offer assistance. In turn, they can make referrals to other agencies that can provide a number of various services. Seek the advice of a counselor or minister. Parenting is a full-time job. When parents can't cope, it is the children that suffer most. Don't make parenting tougher than it has to be. Let it be the beautiful, rewarding experience it was meant to be. If you need help, seek it. And remember, parents and children learn from each other.
Darlene Zagata is a freelance writer, editor and author. Her work has been published extensively both online and in print. Ms. Zagata is the author of "Aftertaste: A Collection of Poems" and "The Choosing." Both books can be purchased at Amazon.com. Ms. Zagata is the Managing Editor of RITRO.com and a monthly columnist for Moon Shadows Magazine. More of Ms. Zagata's work can be found at her website.
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